It Still Hurts
by ninjamidori
Summary: He left her a long time ago... why can't she get over him?


**I have NO IDEA where this came from! Well, actually, yes, I kind of do. I was listening to 'Deep' by Auburn, and this story just kind of exploded into my head. **

**FOR KIKYO HATERS, I HAVE FOUR WORDS: WATCH THE FINAL ACT. EPISODE EIGHT. I DIDN'T JUST CRY; I FUCKING BAWLED. And it made me feel some SERIOUS sympathy for our poor dead priestess. And, you know, if you've WATCHED that episode already, and STILL hate Kikyo, then I can respect your opinion. **

**ANYWAY! ON WITH THE SHOW! I hope you like it, and please review! OH, and please, if you haven't heard 'Deep' by Auburn, please listen to it! It's such an awesome song!**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Inuyasha. Please don't try to sue me.**

_It still hurts,  
Yeah,_

Remember when, it was you and me,  
Wasting time, it was chemistry,  
All the things we did,  
It was magic, but now it's gone, gone.  


She saw him out of the corner of her eye, walking in her direction. His silver hair swayed with each step he took, shining even underneath the dingy lights of the school hallway. Students parted like the red sea as he strode by, a confident air all about him. His red t-shirt complimented his black jeans perfectly, and his skin was healthy and tan. He smiled at some people he knew, and his teeth glinted as if he were commercializing toothpaste.

He was a god.

She kept on staring out of the corner of her eye, holding her breath as he got closer and closer. When he was right there, not even a foot away from her, he smirked and said:

"Hey, Kikyo. What's up?"

She almost died.

However, she couldn't let that show. So she simply smiled and said, "Hi Inuyasha."

He walked on, not sparing her another glance. She could feel her heart throbbing with every step he took.

_He ain't no you, and I ain't no her,  
But I know if we'd tried,  
Baby, we could've worked,  
And you may see me smilin'  
Try and cover the hurt..._

She watched as he reached his destination:

Kagome Higurashi.

He smiled at her –a real, genuine smile- and Kikyo's heart seemed to break all over again. She couldn't bear to watch as he scooped Kagome into his arms, but she couldn't look away either, as he kissed her and cuddled her right there in front of everyone.

She felt a tap on her shoulder, and whirled around to see the face of her boyfriend.

"Hey baby, you okay?" Naraku asked, concern etched onto his face.

Kikyo smiled and nodded, hugging him tightly.

"I'm fine."

As she was hugging her boyfriend, she saw _him_ pass by with Kagome. She closed her eyes and squeezed Naraku tighter, then pulled back and smiled at him once more.

_But baby I need you to know...  
I'm still in love with you,  
And I just can't let it go,  
Baby I just don't know what else to do,  
So I gotta let you know..._

Naraku grinned and grabbed her hand; they started to walk down the hall. He told her about his plans for their date that night…

All she could see was the silver hair, just out of reach.

She bit her lip and tried to look interested in what Naraku was saying, while still keeping an eye on _him_.

It had been so long; why did she still feel this way? This unbearable tugging in her heart when she looked at him…

She still loved him.

_You cut me deep, deep,  
Deep, deep,  
I never knew it hurt so bad...  
Boy you cut me deep, deep,  
Deep, deep,  
After I gave you all I had._

Why did she still love him?

He had hurt her so much. She had tried to make it work, had tried with all of her being, but…

It ended anyway.__

I miss the way we, we used to be,  
"I love you girl, I promise that you're my everything",  
But now those words ain't nothing but a memory,  
But it's now gone, gone,

She still remembered those days when he'd walk her home, kissing her and promising her forever.

"_You know I'll always love you," _he'd tell her.

"_Not as much as I love you," _she'd always answer.

It was true. It always would be.

__

He ain't no you, and I ain't no her,  
But I know if we tried,  
Baby, we could've worked,  
And you might see me smilin'  
Try and cover the hurt...

She had known, once her cousin Kagome announced that she was transferring to their school. She had known that she would lose him. She had known there was no hope. It had hurt, but it made some kind of sick sense. After all, Kikyo was no Kagome. Kikyo was unintentionally cold, and realistic; Kagome's smile was unwavering… her world was perfect. She was his polar opposite; her sunshine overpowered his rain. Inuyasha's entire face would light up when he saw Kagome, as if she flipped a switch that Kikyo couldn't find.

Kikyo couldn't compete with Kagome.

She had been expecting it, the day Inuyasha told her it was over. There had been no protest. What good would it have done anyway? She could never get him back.

Naraku had been ecstatic; he had always been in love with Kikyo. Her feelings weren't as strong as his, but he convinced her he didn't care. She had figured, why not give him a shot?

Her heart couldn't break any more.

_But baby I need you to know...  
I'm still in love with you,  
And I just can't let it go,  
Baby I just don't know what else to do,  
So I gotta let you know..._

It had been over for a while, almost a year now.

Why couldn't she get over him? It was a question that kept her up late at night.

She didn't understand; she had it all. A loving boyfriend, tons of friends, a job that paid well. Yet whenever he walked by, she felt this ache in her entire being.

She didn't know how to make it go away.

_You cut me deep, deep, (so)  
Deep, deep, (oh)  
I never knew it hurt so bad,  
Boy you cut me deep, deep (so)  
Deep, deep, (so)  
After I gave you all I had,_

She knew he hadn't wanted to hurt her, but it was inevitable. She wanted him to be happy, didn't she?

But she didn't know his happiness would hurt her so much. Sometimes she would feel her heart constrict inside her chest, causing her real physical pain.

All it took was one of his trademark smirks to kill her inside…

And he didn't even notice.

_Not a day goes by, you ain't on my mind,  
All the time boy, (on my mind),  
I know you're with her, and it's me you hurt,  
But it's fine boy, (but it's fine),_

Naraku dropped her off at her class, which she shared with Kagome and Inuyasha. He kissed her at the door.

"Are you sure you're okay, babe? You look kinda pale…" He frowned at her, truly worried about her well being.

She remembered when Inuyasha had looked at her that way.

She smiled gently at him and kissed him on the cheek.

"Of course I'm okay. I just didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I'll be fine," she lied.

Satisfied, he walked away, turning around once to wave and another time to blow her a kiss.

When she turned around, all she could see was _them_, sitting together.__

I'm still in love with you,  
And I just can't let it go,  
Baby I just don't know what else to do,  
So I gotta let you know...

It had gone on for so long that she almost didn't feel like herself without the aching pain in her chest whenever she saw him. Her love for him was engraved in her soul, tattooed on her heart.

What was she supposed to do with _that_?

_You cut me deep, deep, (so)  
Deep, deep, (oh)  
I never knew it hurt so bad,  
Boy you cut me deep, deep,  
Deep, deep,  
After I gave you all I had,_

She walked between the seats, past the couple, to the table right behind them. She put her head on the table, dredging up all her willpower so as not to cry.

Her heart skipped a beat when she heard his voice.

"Hey, Kikyo, are you okay?"

She slowly raised her head to look at him, and saw his beautiful face edged with concern. Kagome was also worried, so much so that she got up and sat next to her beloved cousin to check for a fever. She noticed dark circles underneath her eyes, and she smiled sympathetically.

"Rough night?"

Kikyo nodded. It was the easiest thing to do. They were satisfied, and Kagome moved back to sit with her boyfriend.

Kikyo just laid her head back down.

_Boy you cut me deep, deep,  
Deep, deep,  
After I gave you all I had._

When the bell rang, the couple got up and walked out of the room hand in hand. Kikyo kept her head down; she couldn't find the strength to lift it.

Once she knew they were out of the room, she opened her fist to reveal a folded piece of paper.

She opened it, to read the words she had written that morning, before school.

'_I still love you...'_

She heard a whistle, and looked to the door; Naraku was there, waiting for her. She smiled radiantly at him.

Then she got up, crumpled the paper, and threw it in the waste basket on her way out the door.

'…_But I have to get over you."_

**Sooooo? What did you think? I can't change what I don't know about, so please Review!**

**-The Green Ninja**


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